How To Get A Boyfriend
by Little Cute Girl
Summary: Twenty advices "How To Get A Boyfriend" by Sumire Shoda. /Nineteenth Advice: If he doesn't leave you alone on Myspace, Twitter and Facebook, tell him that you father is a policeman./


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How To Get A Boyfriend

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Hello, Alice Academy students. My name is Sumire Shouda and I'm going to give few advices how to get a boyfriend. If you're almost eighteen and still single since birth, you have the last chance to change it or else you will be a LOSER forever.

Now, who wants to be a LOSER forever? Not me, that's for sure.

Mikan Sakura, my dearest friend, told me that you, silly people, had sent her letter to remove my article from Alice Academy's newspaper; and I thought about it. And I say – NO WAY, DUDES.

I decided to change my style of writing. Instead of making you all feel like idiots, I will make you successful. I will give you advices for your life every month. This month, as I mentioned few paragraphs earlier, I will give you advices how to get a boyfriend.

First Advice:

_Find a guy._

Second Advice:

_If you see a random guy STARING at you, call the police. It's serious. _

Third Advice:

_If you see a hot guy, get closer to him so he could walk past you and accidentally touch your shoulder with his. It's the best thing in the world—even better than apple pie. _

Fourth Advice:

_Now that you have found a guy, got away from some crazy stalkers and accidentally touched him (YOU HAVE HIS DNA ON YOUR SHIRT), you can start following him on Twitter._

Fifth Advice:

_If he accepts your request to follow, it means that he has noticed you too—AWESOME. Now you can find him in Facebook and add him as your friend._

Sixth Advice:

_He freaking accepted. YES—go celebrate. Now you know that he's ready to mingle. MHAHAHAHA._

Seventh Advice:

_If he's in relationship with someone, remember that __**dating**__ doesn't mean __**marriage**__. He will not have ten kids with his girlfriend and sooner or later they will break up. That's how the cookie crumbles. _

Eight Advice:

_If after long wait they are still together, send him a letter, telling him how much you love him. If he doesn't respond, he's a douche. _

Ninth Advice:

_If you're still single, change your attention object. Maybe something is wrong with him?_

Tenth Advice:

_To make your searches easier, try to find your perfect matches at dating sites as _**100 Top Dating Sites, Luvfree, Datingsiteslist **_or just type in _**Google **_Dating Sites. It will help you get a hot and single guy faster._

**Warning **– _Those guys may be lying to you (Example: pedophile, transvestite)._

Eleventh Advice:

_Never ever go on a blind date. Please, just ignore the request. If you really want to go, ask you friend to come with you. It's going to be safer. _

Twelfth Advice:

_If you haven't had a date, choose your first date partner to be your friend or classmate. You know him and he knows you. You must feel good, being on your first date. _

Thirteenth Advice:

_If your best friend accepts to go with you on a date, make sure that you go with him to a place that is __**interesting**__._

**Warning – **_Never go to ZOO, your house or to beach on the first date. Choose the cinema or a nearby park. _

Fourteenth Advice:

_DO __**NOT**__ KISS YOUR __**DATE**__ ON THE __**FIRST**__ DATE._

Fifteenth Advice:

_Take a shower before your first date._

Sixteenth Advice:

_Your teeth must be clean on the first date._

Seventeenth Advice:

_Act like an idiot. Boys like to know that their dates are more stupid than they are. Go and figure them out. _

Eighteenth Advice:

_If your best friend wants a second date, turn it down._

Nineteenth Advice:

_If he doesn't leave you alone on Myspace, Twitter and Facebook, tell him that you father is a policeman._

Twentieth Advice:

_If he doesn't leave you after it, you have found a pearl. Go on a second date. _

And now, my dear readers, that's the goal to find your ideal boyfriend. It doesn't matter if he isn't as hot, good looking or even smart. You have to realize that no one will love you more than your best friend.

That's all from me this week. I have a date with Koko Yome. Bye.

xoxo,

Sumire.

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><p><strong>AN- **This is one-shot and was made for fun. I hope you enjoyed reading it. Big thanks to** Ria Lee** for beta reading.

**~LCG**


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